But most of you are inebriated at some level, have little self control, and feel like this might be better then "drunk dialing", so here goes... A wall of shame for some of my favorite Q & A's!
Do you think my boyfriend loves me?
If he brought you here, DEFINITELY NOT! He's trying to get your bra off and suckle something. Didn't you see the ceiling? Are you legally blind? Should I be writing this in braille?
I don't know why any sane person would ask a stuffed rabbit for advice?
How much beer could a wood chuck chug if a wood chuck could chug beer?
Wood chucks are well known drinking wusses. You wanna see chugging? Buy drinks for a jack-a-lope!
How come you can feel wind but you can't see it?
Well duh. Of course you can't see wind. But if I burp into the wind, your eyes will burn for days.
I'm new to the area. Where are JR'S usually found? Are you approachable, Jack?
I don't know about Jack Rabbits but any Jackalope worth a lick can be found at the local watering hole. As far as being approachable, I should only be approached on days that end in "Y".
Starve a cold, feed a fever, right? So how do you treat "Boogie Fever?"
Girl, don't you be bringing that disco crap into Murray's. I can't be responsible for what happens. And trust me, you do not want to see Bennett busting those Travolta moves.